Reality Bites

I've lived, technically, in Massachusetts all my life. Except for a 4-year stint at a college in Pennsylvania and two years living in Nashua, NH. I haven't ventured far from home. That doesn't mean that I haven't wanted to. From as early as I can remember I have always wanted to live somewhere else and have been quite vocal about it at times.

Be careful what you wish for.

In December, my husband accepted a transfer and a promotion to upstate NY. In March, my house finally brought in an offer. In April, I become a New Yorker. In between, I am losing my mind. The logistics of trying to sell a home in one state, buy a home in another, and move all of our family's accumulated junk is a daunting task at best, a nightmare at worst. All of this is taking place while my husband works in NY during the week, and I get to play single parent to two tweens. Then he comes home on the weekend and wants to relax. In our home there is no relaxing only the grim knowledge that we are far behind in our packing and preparation and now the time is passing at an incredible rate.

Not to mention the emotional issues most of us are now experiencing.

I have an 11 year old who is going to have to leave his current school (in April no less) migrate to a new elementary school for two months and then transition to a Middle School next year. Worrying about friends and activities takes up much of his time. He spends most of his time at home performing an activity that is loud and sometimes bothersome to everyone else in the house. I'm ignoring it because I know that is how he is working through his issues. When my husband is home he yells at him to stop as it is so annoying. I worry about him as he has a history of picking "marginal" friends who eventually turn on him in some way, shape, or form.

I have a 13 year old who has no worries but doesn't like the new house. It is too small for his taste, he doesn't like the carpeting, the colors, the this, the that, and so on. I worry about him because I don't think middle school is generally kind to newcomers. I also worry that he won't be able to continue the club soccer that is so important to him because it is notoriously hard to break into athletics in a new town as athletics have become so important to the adults that they stonewall all newcomers in an effort to put their kids ahead.

So far, I have pushed all my niggling feelings for myself to the back recesses of my mind as it is more important to me that my kids get settled before I think about a new job, new friends, and my total lack of gregarious social skills. I say so far, because as the time for the move comes closer and closer, these thoughts, especially that of jobs, are starting to get louder and harder to contain. All my mind keeps saying is, "we're in a recession, you are a librarian, libraries are cutting back, you'll never find a job...." and I'm hoping it's not right but who knows?

First I have to pack up, close on my house, find a place to live over the weekend we are homeless, get out to NY, close on our new house, enroll the kids in school, (no small matter nowadays with all the residency issues and such that seem to plague school systems - I need to provide 2 proofs of residency - one of which can be a signed Purchase and Sale, but none of the others can I provide until I change my license, get a utility bill or a job but I digress) change our car insurance, get the cars registered, change my license, get a bank account, and on and on and on. I consider myself a strong person but as my list of things to do and documents to collect and hold on to grows and grows, I feel like screaming and running away.

My husband and I have a phrase which we tend to use for those friends and relatives not acting in a rational manner or those biting off more than they can chew. It's called a "run-in with reality". We've used it since we dated and usually when we said someone was going to have a RIWR, they did. Sometimes it made us feel superior that we were firmly in the now and that reality was pretty much within our grasp. When others had new cars, furniture, and tvs, we went without because our financial reality was always in our minds. When others told us that their children were the second coming of Christ, we went along with it and didn't brag about our own. I always figured that moving would be a positive experience and we would do it so well. So much for all our careful planning; we are in the middle of our own RIWR and reality sure bites.