Well, it's that time of year again...the beginning of the end of summer - August. As people can probably tell, I look forward to the end of summer as if I were going to be hanged. I wait for summer all year and in New England and upstate New York, it is so brief that I want to enjoy every minute of it. This year, as in past years, it has been a pipe dream.
When I moved and had no immediate job to look forward to, I thought: "I'll have the whole summer to myself, I'll read and think and take the kids on all sorts of cool daytrips in our new state and really enjoy it before I look for work." Here is the reality: June - rainy, abnormally cold, July - rainier, and abnormally cool, me - I've read so much I think that I might be "read out" and the kids are getting more and more like caged animals turning on their young as we are low on money and can barely afford to go to the food store, let alone fill the car with gas and trot around upstate NY. I guess I am back to that old saw: "the more things change, the more they stay the same." I've moved, am not working, have gotten away from some of my MA issues but I am now repeating many of them out here in NY. Sigh.
Do I anticipate that I will always be poor? Is this why I am so nearly always scraping by on a few bucks until the end of the pay period? Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy? I'd better start to think about this as it is getting old, real old. I suppose I could be working - I might have found a job as a chambermaid at one of the local motels, or in a convenience store, or right in the local food store, but at this stage of my life, I know that while those jobs will bring in money to satisfy my immediate needs, they won't even touch my intellectual ones beyond the first few weeks as I struggle to learn the job. Is it better to squeak along on what we have or should I just take anything, anything so as to relieve the money problem. I haven't figured that one out yet. But if I do, I'll let you know the results.
But anyway, as I was saying, August is here and my idealized summer is almost over. The problem with August is that it sneaks up on you. One minute it was June and summer stretched endlessly before me, the next it is August and my time is almost up. Whatever happened to July and the vacation I took in it? July seems to roar by at the speed of light - it's gone before I even had time to register that it was there.
To add insult to injury, I just noticed the other night that the summer daylight is shrinking. During the height of it, out here in NY in June, it was definitely light until 9pm and a little later. Now, I noticed that at 8:15 it is as light as it was in June at 9:15 and with that comes the awful dread of the darkness that follows as the months go by. The light going away sneaks up on you, it really does. My months of most discontent tend to be ones which lead into or follow the winter darkness. I am mournful in August over summer's end coming, bleak in November over the loss of further daylight when daylight savings ends as well as the impending winter, and downright depressed in March when even though daylight savings is back, the weather is still winter-cold and shows no intention of changing.
But I'd best go out and enjoy the rest of the summer, it won't be back for awhile. At this point, we have been able to stretch 3 days together without rain which is an absolute miracle this year. I need to redo my thoughts on this summer and put them into a more workable scenario - one which coincides with my pocketbook and my children's needs. Maybe we got what we needed in this year of our move, a summer in which we stayed home, laid low, and just hung out - together. The seasons can work in mysterious ways if you let them.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Changing Channels
Just how elastic is the human mind? I ponder this on a daily basis as I settle in to my new digs in upstate NY. Sometimes it is not elastic enough, other times it seems just a bit too giving. Sitting at the breakfast table this morning, I heard a military helicopter approaching. This is a sound that I have heard countless times before, just not in my new home. For an instant I was back in MA. I had to shake my head and re-orient myself by looking around the kitchen to bring myself back to NY.
A week ago, shopping down at the Walmart supercenter in Halfmoon, I knew I was in the Walmart in Halfmoon, but when I exited the store, into the sunlight, for some reason I was surprised to be in NY, not in the familiar parking lot of the Walmart in MA that I usually shopped at. How could my mind be anticipating MA when I know I am in NY?
It may have something to do with time. When we moved from the house we had lived in 13 years to a new house in a neighboring town, for the first few months I was constantly going to the wrong drawers in the kitchen for potholders and silverware. Where was I going? To the locations that my mind had been used to for the previous 13 years. That continued until I left our second house a scant few months ago although as time went on I went to the wrong places less and less. If I put time into the equation, having lived in MA for 40+ years, I guess I can see why my mind still reverts to familiar patterns no matter how hard I try to reprogram it.
Still, the shock of newness should have some effect on my mind and how it adjusts. While we looked at many houses and had some familiarity with the NY area in which we now live, by no means were we transitioned from one area to the next. One day we moved from MA, a few days later (after staying with family and hotels due to moving delays) we were living in NY. Sometimes the shock of newness gives the brain an instant pattern to be followed. I guess that has happened in some areas (like my new ATM card code) but not in others (as in where am I).
Somehow, some way, in my mind's eye, I can still see myself in NY but with MA overtones. The other morning my mind was playing through what I could do this week with my younger son who is home alone as his older brother is at soccer camp for the week and his friend is at boy scout camp. It briefly flashed through my mind that we should go down and walk along the Cape Cod Canal. That was before reality charged into my mind and reminded it that we now live about 5 hours from the canal as opposed to the 1.5 hours before. Definitely a no go.
Times like that, I want to shake my mind and slap it to get it permanently adjusted to the fact that the MA thoughts are unnecessary and unneeded. I can't do that though because I know it is, as they would say on a soap opera or a movie: "doing as well as can be expected." Which leads me back to the time factor. I think it just needs time to build up more of a NY pool of information. While I doubt that the NY information would ever trump the sheer amount of MA information I possess, I do have hope that I will get to the point where I am not surprised to be in NY when I walk out of a store.
A week ago, shopping down at the Walmart supercenter in Halfmoon, I knew I was in the Walmart in Halfmoon, but when I exited the store, into the sunlight, for some reason I was surprised to be in NY, not in the familiar parking lot of the Walmart in MA that I usually shopped at. How could my mind be anticipating MA when I know I am in NY?
It may have something to do with time. When we moved from the house we had lived in 13 years to a new house in a neighboring town, for the first few months I was constantly going to the wrong drawers in the kitchen for potholders and silverware. Where was I going? To the locations that my mind had been used to for the previous 13 years. That continued until I left our second house a scant few months ago although as time went on I went to the wrong places less and less. If I put time into the equation, having lived in MA for 40+ years, I guess I can see why my mind still reverts to familiar patterns no matter how hard I try to reprogram it.
Still, the shock of newness should have some effect on my mind and how it adjusts. While we looked at many houses and had some familiarity with the NY area in which we now live, by no means were we transitioned from one area to the next. One day we moved from MA, a few days later (after staying with family and hotels due to moving delays) we were living in NY. Sometimes the shock of newness gives the brain an instant pattern to be followed. I guess that has happened in some areas (like my new ATM card code) but not in others (as in where am I).
Somehow, some way, in my mind's eye, I can still see myself in NY but with MA overtones. The other morning my mind was playing through what I could do this week with my younger son who is home alone as his older brother is at soccer camp for the week and his friend is at boy scout camp. It briefly flashed through my mind that we should go down and walk along the Cape Cod Canal. That was before reality charged into my mind and reminded it that we now live about 5 hours from the canal as opposed to the 1.5 hours before. Definitely a no go.
Times like that, I want to shake my mind and slap it to get it permanently adjusted to the fact that the MA thoughts are unnecessary and unneeded. I can't do that though because I know it is, as they would say on a soap opera or a movie: "doing as well as can be expected." Which leads me back to the time factor. I think it just needs time to build up more of a NY pool of information. While I doubt that the NY information would ever trump the sheer amount of MA information I possess, I do have hope that I will get to the point where I am not surprised to be in NY when I walk out of a store.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
A Matter of Perspective
Some day, many years from now, we may be able to laugh at all the problems we had during our move from Massachusetts to New York. I say some day, because we are still wading through phone, car, school, and employment issues. The issues we are now working on are far less stressful than the ones we were presented with immediately prior to our move.
To wit, at 4pm the day before we closed on our Massachusetts house, our lawyer from New York called and said that some paperwork or another hadn't gotten to her when the seller expected and that the seller had panicked, cancelled her movers and that now, instead of closing on Monday and moving in, we could not close until Wednesday. That's a nice call when the moving van is pulling away with all of your worldly goods destined to arrive in NY on Monday. To make things even better, our NY lawyer (whom I will never hire again), agreed with the seller. She'd been telling us and telling us that we weren't going to be able to get the mortgage and closing done in the time we had allowed and now, well, she was right. (That was very important to her.) Apparently our NY lawyer had annoyed our lender beyond all reasonable expectation so he was barely speaking to us and definitely not to her and it all became a case of a woman scorned (our lawyer) and looking for payback. Splendid. And on our dime too as all of our stuff had to be unloaded off one van, and moved to another at charges of $700+ dollars. And, as if all this wasn't enough, the moving company could not deliver our stuff until Friday, and then their truck broke down getting to our house, and broke down again on the way home. Would anyone believe that I had to haul the two movers back to Mass. in my car because I was going there anyway to pick up a son from a school trip? Yes, indeed, a wonderful time was had by all.
When the dust had settled and our stuff had arrived, and we finally got phone and internet service (two more extremely delayed operations) I jumped on to my email and it was all put into perspective. An email from a friend, sent a week before, told myself and others that her mother had died. And I felt terrible. It was all I could think about that weekend. For several reasons it bothered me. One, because I had spent so much time discussing the mother's illness with the friend and knew all the ups and downs and knew what a blow this was to the friend. Two, I was unable to get back for the services because I'd had no internet and had missed them entirely. Three, I was amazed at how much time I had lost from my life just wallowing through unnecessary and time-consuming moving problems. When I added everything up, I'd lost 2 weeks of outside communication with the world due to technical issues.
I can hear people thinking, "just go to the library and use their computers" which I couldn't do because I didn't have a library card and I couldn't get one without either a NY state driver's license or a utility bill. I know, I tried. But I digress.
Some humor here. While we ran into virtually every moving problem known to mankind, at least no one died. End of humor. I still keep thinking of my friend and her lost mother. From what I heard, they were close, perhaps the kind of close my mother was to her mother. When my grandmother was dying, I worried for my mother because she was so close to hers. I spoke to her one day about it, about how she would feel, what she might do, when her mother died and her reply was: "There are no happy endings."
She was right and it is all too true that there really aren't "happy endings" such as Hollywood likes to show. Things tend to me more ambiguous. There is a part of me that still thinks my long-dead grandmother might call and surprise me as she used to do occasionally. In my mind, she is still living in the small, sunny, apartment she occupied for many years. I don't think of her in the nursing home dying, I think of her, hose in hand, squirting the baby rabbits eating her petunias, of her enjoying a lobster on a trip to Maine, or driving around in her little orange AMC Hornet to see friends. In short, I don't remember the bad as much as I remember the good, the fun, the humorous, and the interesting. Keeping the good memories keeps her alive and well in my mind. I hope it is so for my friend.
The human mind is miraculously resilient but it still astonishes me that I expect to see my father-in-law (now gone almost 5 years) at the house every time I visit my mother-in-law. Why? I don't know except I suspect that the human mind loves patterns and it is hard to erase someone or something from the patterned fabric of life.
As long as you remember, you will never lose those you love.
To wit, at 4pm the day before we closed on our Massachusetts house, our lawyer from New York called and said that some paperwork or another hadn't gotten to her when the seller expected and that the seller had panicked, cancelled her movers and that now, instead of closing on Monday and moving in, we could not close until Wednesday. That's a nice call when the moving van is pulling away with all of your worldly goods destined to arrive in NY on Monday. To make things even better, our NY lawyer (whom I will never hire again), agreed with the seller. She'd been telling us and telling us that we weren't going to be able to get the mortgage and closing done in the time we had allowed and now, well, she was right. (That was very important to her.) Apparently our NY lawyer had annoyed our lender beyond all reasonable expectation so he was barely speaking to us and definitely not to her and it all became a case of a woman scorned (our lawyer) and looking for payback. Splendid. And on our dime too as all of our stuff had to be unloaded off one van, and moved to another at charges of $700+ dollars. And, as if all this wasn't enough, the moving company could not deliver our stuff until Friday, and then their truck broke down getting to our house, and broke down again on the way home. Would anyone believe that I had to haul the two movers back to Mass. in my car because I was going there anyway to pick up a son from a school trip? Yes, indeed, a wonderful time was had by all.
When the dust had settled and our stuff had arrived, and we finally got phone and internet service (two more extremely delayed operations) I jumped on to my email and it was all put into perspective. An email from a friend, sent a week before, told myself and others that her mother had died. And I felt terrible. It was all I could think about that weekend. For several reasons it bothered me. One, because I had spent so much time discussing the mother's illness with the friend and knew all the ups and downs and knew what a blow this was to the friend. Two, I was unable to get back for the services because I'd had no internet and had missed them entirely. Three, I was amazed at how much time I had lost from my life just wallowing through unnecessary and time-consuming moving problems. When I added everything up, I'd lost 2 weeks of outside communication with the world due to technical issues.
I can hear people thinking, "just go to the library and use their computers" which I couldn't do because I didn't have a library card and I couldn't get one without either a NY state driver's license or a utility bill. I know, I tried. But I digress.
Some humor here. While we ran into virtually every moving problem known to mankind, at least no one died. End of humor. I still keep thinking of my friend and her lost mother. From what I heard, they were close, perhaps the kind of close my mother was to her mother. When my grandmother was dying, I worried for my mother because she was so close to hers. I spoke to her one day about it, about how she would feel, what she might do, when her mother died and her reply was: "There are no happy endings."
She was right and it is all too true that there really aren't "happy endings" such as Hollywood likes to show. Things tend to me more ambiguous. There is a part of me that still thinks my long-dead grandmother might call and surprise me as she used to do occasionally. In my mind, she is still living in the small, sunny, apartment she occupied for many years. I don't think of her in the nursing home dying, I think of her, hose in hand, squirting the baby rabbits eating her petunias, of her enjoying a lobster on a trip to Maine, or driving around in her little orange AMC Hornet to see friends. In short, I don't remember the bad as much as I remember the good, the fun, the humorous, and the interesting. Keeping the good memories keeps her alive and well in my mind. I hope it is so for my friend.
The human mind is miraculously resilient but it still astonishes me that I expect to see my father-in-law (now gone almost 5 years) at the house every time I visit my mother-in-law. Why? I don't know except I suspect that the human mind loves patterns and it is hard to erase someone or something from the patterned fabric of life.
As long as you remember, you will never lose those you love.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Reality Bites
I've lived, technically, in Massachusetts all my life. Except for a 4-year stint at a college in Pennsylvania and two years living in Nashua, NH. I haven't ventured far from home. That doesn't mean that I haven't wanted to. From as early as I can remember I have always wanted to live somewhere else and have been quite vocal about it at times.
Be careful what you wish for.
In December, my husband accepted a transfer and a promotion to upstate NY. In March, my house finally brought in an offer. In April, I become a New Yorker. In between, I am losing my mind. The logistics of trying to sell a home in one state, buy a home in another, and move all of our family's accumulated junk is a daunting task at best, a nightmare at worst. All of this is taking place while my husband works in NY during the week, and I get to play single parent to two tweens. Then he comes home on the weekend and wants to relax. In our home there is no relaxing only the grim knowledge that we are far behind in our packing and preparation and now the time is passing at an incredible rate.
Not to mention the emotional issues most of us are now experiencing.
I have an 11 year old who is going to have to leave his current school (in April no less) migrate to a new elementary school for two months and then transition to a Middle School next year. Worrying about friends and activities takes up much of his time. He spends most of his time at home performing an activity that is loud and sometimes bothersome to everyone else in the house. I'm ignoring it because I know that is how he is working through his issues. When my husband is home he yells at him to stop as it is so annoying. I worry about him as he has a history of picking "marginal" friends who eventually turn on him in some way, shape, or form.
I have a 13 year old who has no worries but doesn't like the new house. It is too small for his taste, he doesn't like the carpeting, the colors, the this, the that, and so on. I worry about him because I don't think middle school is generally kind to newcomers. I also worry that he won't be able to continue the club soccer that is so important to him because it is notoriously hard to break into athletics in a new town as athletics have become so important to the adults that they stonewall all newcomers in an effort to put their kids ahead.
So far, I have pushed all my niggling feelings for myself to the back recesses of my mind as it is more important to me that my kids get settled before I think about a new job, new friends, and my total lack of gregarious social skills. I say so far, because as the time for the move comes closer and closer, these thoughts, especially that of jobs, are starting to get louder and harder to contain. All my mind keeps saying is, "we're in a recession, you are a librarian, libraries are cutting back, you'll never find a job...." and I'm hoping it's not right but who knows?
First I have to pack up, close on my house, find a place to live over the weekend we are homeless, get out to NY, close on our new house, enroll the kids in school, (no small matter nowadays with all the residency issues and such that seem to plague school systems - I need to provide 2 proofs of residency - one of which can be a signed Purchase and Sale, but none of the others can I provide until I change my license, get a utility bill or a job but I digress) change our car insurance, get the cars registered, change my license, get a bank account, and on and on and on. I consider myself a strong person but as my list of things to do and documents to collect and hold on to grows and grows, I feel like screaming and running away.
My husband and I have a phrase which we tend to use for those friends and relatives not acting in a rational manner or those biting off more than they can chew. It's called a "run-in with reality". We've used it since we dated and usually when we said someone was going to have a RIWR, they did. Sometimes it made us feel superior that we were firmly in the now and that reality was pretty much within our grasp. When others had new cars, furniture, and tvs, we went without because our financial reality was always in our minds. When others told us that their children were the second coming of Christ, we went along with it and didn't brag about our own. I always figured that moving would be a positive experience and we would do it so well. So much for all our careful planning; we are in the middle of our own RIWR and reality sure bites.
Be careful what you wish for.
In December, my husband accepted a transfer and a promotion to upstate NY. In March, my house finally brought in an offer. In April, I become a New Yorker. In between, I am losing my mind. The logistics of trying to sell a home in one state, buy a home in another, and move all of our family's accumulated junk is a daunting task at best, a nightmare at worst. All of this is taking place while my husband works in NY during the week, and I get to play single parent to two tweens. Then he comes home on the weekend and wants to relax. In our home there is no relaxing only the grim knowledge that we are far behind in our packing and preparation and now the time is passing at an incredible rate.
Not to mention the emotional issues most of us are now experiencing.
I have an 11 year old who is going to have to leave his current school (in April no less) migrate to a new elementary school for two months and then transition to a Middle School next year. Worrying about friends and activities takes up much of his time. He spends most of his time at home performing an activity that is loud and sometimes bothersome to everyone else in the house. I'm ignoring it because I know that is how he is working through his issues. When my husband is home he yells at him to stop as it is so annoying. I worry about him as he has a history of picking "marginal" friends who eventually turn on him in some way, shape, or form.
I have a 13 year old who has no worries but doesn't like the new house. It is too small for his taste, he doesn't like the carpeting, the colors, the this, the that, and so on. I worry about him because I don't think middle school is generally kind to newcomers. I also worry that he won't be able to continue the club soccer that is so important to him because it is notoriously hard to break into athletics in a new town as athletics have become so important to the adults that they stonewall all newcomers in an effort to put their kids ahead.
So far, I have pushed all my niggling feelings for myself to the back recesses of my mind as it is more important to me that my kids get settled before I think about a new job, new friends, and my total lack of gregarious social skills. I say so far, because as the time for the move comes closer and closer, these thoughts, especially that of jobs, are starting to get louder and harder to contain. All my mind keeps saying is, "we're in a recession, you are a librarian, libraries are cutting back, you'll never find a job...." and I'm hoping it's not right but who knows?
First I have to pack up, close on my house, find a place to live over the weekend we are homeless, get out to NY, close on our new house, enroll the kids in school, (no small matter nowadays with all the residency issues and such that seem to plague school systems - I need to provide 2 proofs of residency - one of which can be a signed Purchase and Sale, but none of the others can I provide until I change my license, get a utility bill or a job but I digress) change our car insurance, get the cars registered, change my license, get a bank account, and on and on and on. I consider myself a strong person but as my list of things to do and documents to collect and hold on to grows and grows, I feel like screaming and running away.
My husband and I have a phrase which we tend to use for those friends and relatives not acting in a rational manner or those biting off more than they can chew. It's called a "run-in with reality". We've used it since we dated and usually when we said someone was going to have a RIWR, they did. Sometimes it made us feel superior that we were firmly in the now and that reality was pretty much within our grasp. When others had new cars, furniture, and tvs, we went without because our financial reality was always in our minds. When others told us that their children were the second coming of Christ, we went along with it and didn't brag about our own. I always figured that moving would be a positive experience and we would do it so well. So much for all our careful planning; we are in the middle of our own RIWR and reality sure bites.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Bad Moon Rising
I went to work yesterday, Sunday, at the public library where I work on the weekends. It was one of the worst Sundays I have ever worked. Partway through the shift, my deskmate checked the calendar and we were right - there was a full moon.
If you work with the public in any way shape or form, you might want to take note of the phases of the moon. Some of the full moons seem to bring out every crazy in town while others pass unnoticed. Yesterday, we noticed. It was probably a combination of a full moon and nice weather (for New England) after a long cold spell.
I should have known when my first reference question was a patron wanting to know where a nice sunny spot was to read the paper on the first floor. I didn't think much of it at the time as I enjoy the sun myself in the winter. Possibly it was the second question which started as a question, rambled into a long discourse on Charles Darwin and ended with me giving explicit directions on how to find the biography/autobiography section while a bunch of irritated patrons waited their turn glaring. Was the final straw the blind patron looking to see if we had a particular software installed on our computer and working that she had last checked on 3 years ago or the patron who was in library school and came to the library to find classification catalogs that we have, but are not available to the public because they reside in a part of the library which is staff only? I don't know, all I know is it was crazy busy, lines all day and everyone had some personal issue hanging out.
Which leads me to my next rant. Sundays. Now stores and libraries and restaurants and everyone is open on Sundays. They're all staffed but they're not staffed with the regulars who are there during the week. Nor are they fully staffed period. Yet, people still come in looking for all sorts of extras and questions that we are not always able to answer. We had someone from reference call in sick yesterday as well so we were short-staffed and overwhelmed. Yes, we are getting paid to perform a service but not everyone (such as the IT people) are there on Sundays. Many of the questions that were asked yesterday (such as the software for the blind) are only answerable during the week with a full staff and those who are working with the technology. I know the patrons coming in also work during the week (well, I don't really know that but I am giving a number of them the benefit of the doubt) and can't get in at other times, but if they called during the week, the regular librarians might work on the problem and set items aside for them to pick up on the weekend.
For us librarians, Sundays are generally triage. They are busy, they are short, and we are just trying to direct people to what they want so we can get to the next person. We spend the time as we can but generally there is another person waiting and spending a half an hour trying to find the best book, article, or journal is generally out of the question. I know some people feel slighted and many get outright annoyed (their tax dollars at work!), but we're doing the best we can with as little as possible.
In the current bad economy, the library is getting more use, because, as everyone knows, the stuff at the library is free! On the downside, we are certainly going to be getting cut in the budget department as the library is one of the first places the number crunchers cut when things get bad. The reason? The library isn't bringing in any revenue, it is just pouring out money. At least that is the way it seems on paper. If you've never worked at a busy suburban or city library, you wouldn't know the stuff that we do that keeps people going. They can use computers if they don't have them, print stuff out, get dvds and videos, language tapes, books for entertainment and job hunting, book clubs, newspapers, and more. For some though, especially the elderly, we're company. I've had many calling with a question that have wanted, needed, to talk for a few minutes and have done so. Some who come in just want to chat as well. I am not the chattiest person but I have had many talks with people on a variety of subjects just because I knew they needed to talk to someone. You can tell.
So, feel free to use the library (until they close us all down for lack of funds) but be aware of the phases of the moon and try to avoid those full-moon Sundays, because sometimes we all need to take our craziness outside and many people choose the free, publicly-accessible library to do so.
If you work with the public in any way shape or form, you might want to take note of the phases of the moon. Some of the full moons seem to bring out every crazy in town while others pass unnoticed. Yesterday, we noticed. It was probably a combination of a full moon and nice weather (for New England) after a long cold spell.
I should have known when my first reference question was a patron wanting to know where a nice sunny spot was to read the paper on the first floor. I didn't think much of it at the time as I enjoy the sun myself in the winter. Possibly it was the second question which started as a question, rambled into a long discourse on Charles Darwin and ended with me giving explicit directions on how to find the biography/autobiography section while a bunch of irritated patrons waited their turn glaring. Was the final straw the blind patron looking to see if we had a particular software installed on our computer and working that she had last checked on 3 years ago or the patron who was in library school and came to the library to find classification catalogs that we have, but are not available to the public because they reside in a part of the library which is staff only? I don't know, all I know is it was crazy busy, lines all day and everyone had some personal issue hanging out.
Which leads me to my next rant. Sundays. Now stores and libraries and restaurants and everyone is open on Sundays. They're all staffed but they're not staffed with the regulars who are there during the week. Nor are they fully staffed period. Yet, people still come in looking for all sorts of extras and questions that we are not always able to answer. We had someone from reference call in sick yesterday as well so we were short-staffed and overwhelmed. Yes, we are getting paid to perform a service but not everyone (such as the IT people) are there on Sundays. Many of the questions that were asked yesterday (such as the software for the blind) are only answerable during the week with a full staff and those who are working with the technology. I know the patrons coming in also work during the week (well, I don't really know that but I am giving a number of them the benefit of the doubt) and can't get in at other times, but if they called during the week, the regular librarians might work on the problem and set items aside for them to pick up on the weekend.
For us librarians, Sundays are generally triage. They are busy, they are short, and we are just trying to direct people to what they want so we can get to the next person. We spend the time as we can but generally there is another person waiting and spending a half an hour trying to find the best book, article, or journal is generally out of the question. I know some people feel slighted and many get outright annoyed (their tax dollars at work!), but we're doing the best we can with as little as possible.
In the current bad economy, the library is getting more use, because, as everyone knows, the stuff at the library is free! On the downside, we are certainly going to be getting cut in the budget department as the library is one of the first places the number crunchers cut when things get bad. The reason? The library isn't bringing in any revenue, it is just pouring out money. At least that is the way it seems on paper. If you've never worked at a busy suburban or city library, you wouldn't know the stuff that we do that keeps people going. They can use computers if they don't have them, print stuff out, get dvds and videos, language tapes, books for entertainment and job hunting, book clubs, newspapers, and more. For some though, especially the elderly, we're company. I've had many calling with a question that have wanted, needed, to talk for a few minutes and have done so. Some who come in just want to chat as well. I am not the chattiest person but I have had many talks with people on a variety of subjects just because I knew they needed to talk to someone. You can tell.
So, feel free to use the library (until they close us all down for lack of funds) but be aware of the phases of the moon and try to avoid those full-moon Sundays, because sometimes we all need to take our craziness outside and many people choose the free, publicly-accessible library to do so.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sick of Winter
Well, we're in the heart of winter now and I, for one, am not loving it. I do like snow, and the crisp, cold air, but I don't like the accompanying illnesses that seem to occur spontaneously with large numbers of people having to spend more time indoors with one another. I am an admitted germophobe and run around with gallons of Purell, handwipes, and paper towels but no matter how hard I try, how many vitamins I take, I always get something during the winter months.
Of course, I have kids too, and they don't seem to try as hard as I would like to stay healthy. I grill them at the door - "Did you wash your hands?" when I get home from work and if they are arriving from somewhere when I am home, the first motherly loving words they hear are - "Wash your hands!". Add to that that I am a severe emetophobe and you have a wonderful recipe for stressed out winters and shrinking from crowds of possible would-be germ-spreaders.
While everyone I talk to is firm in their belief that washing hands is the best possible solution to the problem - it seems that not everyone is on board with that. I can't tell you how many times I have been in the ladies room with someone only to have them flush, open the stall, and walk out the door sans soap/water/towels. Have they thought about the "gifts" they are giving others? I guess not. So, while me and mine are getting excessively chapped hands from washing continuously, apparently there are others out there who haven't gotten the message on cleanliness. It's just gross. Perhaps I should check people's hands when I talk to them, if they look smooth, gleaming, glossy, and unchapped, I don't want to get anywhere near them. It would seem that good hand-skin in the winter is a giveaway of a person not pursuing personal cleanliness.
So, I spend my winters in a state of unbearable stress. All I need to hear is that someone barfed in school or on a bus and my antennae are up. Then I grill my kids - "How close were you?", "Did they go home from school?", "Did you wash your hands?", "If they are on the bus tomorrow, stay away from them" and so on and on. Last week there was an incident on a schoolbus on the way to a field trip that involved barfing and I saw my oldest punch the youngest not to say anything and then in the end it came out and they said they hadn't wanted to tell me because I would get "upset". I guess they know me too well.
I don't think I know any mother who looks forward to barfing kids. If this is so, then why do so many of them send their kids to school in an unfit state? I know kids get sick during school, but it does seem that a number of them are sent in not feeling well to begin with. As a mother who works, and who doesn't get sick time or personal time or vacation time or any time - if I'm not there I'm not paid period, I understand why mothers do this. What I don't understand is that they don't realize that they are foisting their situation off on me. If my kid gets sick from yours, then I am in your position only a few days later. I don't get to work or get paid. This is not a pleasing situation and shows a basic lack of empathy and understanding of others needs. Kids don't learn well if they have a fever and have their head on the desk. It is also a disruptive learning environment to have a classmate vomit in class. People are so politically correct about things which are unnecessary in order to spare others feelings but yet they cannot see how their actions effect their own children and others. If people are really as much "for the children" as they say, they should think about this whole sickness thing.
And yes, I know we are in a "down" economy and people are afraid to call in with sick children but really, can you job-hunt or do your job better when you are ill? The same applies to children in school. Besides that, if they get sick in school, you will have to leave work and get them anyway.
That being said, what I really want is for everyone to wash their hands - a study printed from the Boston Globe said that vigorous washing prevents up to 36% of cold viruses and 50% of stomach viruses. I'd rather wash my hands and take those odds but I still want to speak to those with beautiful hand-skin to see if we can get them on board. If, as Hillary Clinton says, it takes a village to raise a child then that same village can do its job to keep that child healthy. Common sense here folks.
Of course, I have kids too, and they don't seem to try as hard as I would like to stay healthy. I grill them at the door - "Did you wash your hands?" when I get home from work and if they are arriving from somewhere when I am home, the first motherly loving words they hear are - "Wash your hands!". Add to that that I am a severe emetophobe and you have a wonderful recipe for stressed out winters and shrinking from crowds of possible would-be germ-spreaders.
While everyone I talk to is firm in their belief that washing hands is the best possible solution to the problem - it seems that not everyone is on board with that. I can't tell you how many times I have been in the ladies room with someone only to have them flush, open the stall, and walk out the door sans soap/water/towels. Have they thought about the "gifts" they are giving others? I guess not. So, while me and mine are getting excessively chapped hands from washing continuously, apparently there are others out there who haven't gotten the message on cleanliness. It's just gross. Perhaps I should check people's hands when I talk to them, if they look smooth, gleaming, glossy, and unchapped, I don't want to get anywhere near them. It would seem that good hand-skin in the winter is a giveaway of a person not pursuing personal cleanliness.
So, I spend my winters in a state of unbearable stress. All I need to hear is that someone barfed in school or on a bus and my antennae are up. Then I grill my kids - "How close were you?", "Did they go home from school?", "Did you wash your hands?", "If they are on the bus tomorrow, stay away from them" and so on and on. Last week there was an incident on a schoolbus on the way to a field trip that involved barfing and I saw my oldest punch the youngest not to say anything and then in the end it came out and they said they hadn't wanted to tell me because I would get "upset". I guess they know me too well.
I don't think I know any mother who looks forward to barfing kids. If this is so, then why do so many of them send their kids to school in an unfit state? I know kids get sick during school, but it does seem that a number of them are sent in not feeling well to begin with. As a mother who works, and who doesn't get sick time or personal time or vacation time or any time - if I'm not there I'm not paid period, I understand why mothers do this. What I don't understand is that they don't realize that they are foisting their situation off on me. If my kid gets sick from yours, then I am in your position only a few days later. I don't get to work or get paid. This is not a pleasing situation and shows a basic lack of empathy and understanding of others needs. Kids don't learn well if they have a fever and have their head on the desk. It is also a disruptive learning environment to have a classmate vomit in class. People are so politically correct about things which are unnecessary in order to spare others feelings but yet they cannot see how their actions effect their own children and others. If people are really as much "for the children" as they say, they should think about this whole sickness thing.
And yes, I know we are in a "down" economy and people are afraid to call in with sick children but really, can you job-hunt or do your job better when you are ill? The same applies to children in school. Besides that, if they get sick in school, you will have to leave work and get them anyway.
That being said, what I really want is for everyone to wash their hands - a study printed from the Boston Globe said that vigorous washing prevents up to 36% of cold viruses and 50% of stomach viruses. I'd rather wash my hands and take those odds but I still want to speak to those with beautiful hand-skin to see if we can get them on board. If, as Hillary Clinton says, it takes a village to raise a child then that same village can do its job to keep that child healthy. Common sense here folks.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Good-bye little friend
Well, my eighteen year relationship with a good friend is over. Not by choice, of course, but by necessity. She couldn't go on any longer, and I understand that. We had a good run though, from what I hear, most cats don't make it to 18.5 years as she did.
She picked her time well, and when people say that someone or something chose as good a time as any to die, I now know what they mean. Our house had been on the market 3 days when she died. We had our first "showing" the day after she died. I know she'd have hated to have people she didn't know rooting through her "area" and interrupting sleeping/eating/grooming routines.
We miss her, but the ones that miss her the most are me....and the dog. They didn't seem to be very good friends or bitter enemies, and they had their spats, particularly over the dog's food which she would occasionally snitch while the dish was being prepared. Since she died however, the dog has been moping around, sleeping more than usual, and generally looking distressed. We've been trying to make more of her, with extra pets, treats, and walks, but she knows something has happened even if she can't define it.
Who'd have thunk that a little cat could make me feel so humble? She liked everyone in the house but she out and out adored me, and followed me around like a dog. I often joked that I should have named her Shadow, for she was mine. Cats are very choosy (we've had 3 and all had their favorites) and I still don't know why she thought so much of me. Even at the very end, the night before she died, she was sitting on my husband's lap, so she could watch me and every time I got up to do something, she tried to follow even though the legs weren't working hardly at all.
I feel as though I let her down at the end, probably because I couldn't bear the thought of the inevitable and I waited too long to bring her to the vet so she could be put to sleep. By the time I recognized her imminent death and called for an appointment on the last day, she was going too fast. I got home early from work and she was in a coma and died at home an hour later. I wondered if she had waited for me to get home.
For the first time in 19 years, I don't have a cat. There is a hole in my life but I can't get a cat until I sell my house and move. Cats hate moving (ask mine who moved 5 times in the first 4 years I had them) and I don't want to get a new one until I am settled in a new place. I will get another cat though, I am a self-described "cat person" and my husband always refers to the fact that I, with my innate curiosity, am pretty much like a cat.
While I know I will love any new cat that comes into my life, I am acutely aware that there will never be another like the one I just lost. So, thank you little friend for your love and companionship and know that I treasured every minute of it all.
She picked her time well, and when people say that someone or something chose as good a time as any to die, I now know what they mean. Our house had been on the market 3 days when she died. We had our first "showing" the day after she died. I know she'd have hated to have people she didn't know rooting through her "area" and interrupting sleeping/eating/grooming routines.
We miss her, but the ones that miss her the most are me....and the dog. They didn't seem to be very good friends or bitter enemies, and they had their spats, particularly over the dog's food which she would occasionally snitch while the dish was being prepared. Since she died however, the dog has been moping around, sleeping more than usual, and generally looking distressed. We've been trying to make more of her, with extra pets, treats, and walks, but she knows something has happened even if she can't define it.
Who'd have thunk that a little cat could make me feel so humble? She liked everyone in the house but she out and out adored me, and followed me around like a dog. I often joked that I should have named her Shadow, for she was mine. Cats are very choosy (we've had 3 and all had their favorites) and I still don't know why she thought so much of me. Even at the very end, the night before she died, she was sitting on my husband's lap, so she could watch me and every time I got up to do something, she tried to follow even though the legs weren't working hardly at all.
I feel as though I let her down at the end, probably because I couldn't bear the thought of the inevitable and I waited too long to bring her to the vet so she could be put to sleep. By the time I recognized her imminent death and called for an appointment on the last day, she was going too fast. I got home early from work and she was in a coma and died at home an hour later. I wondered if she had waited for me to get home.
For the first time in 19 years, I don't have a cat. There is a hole in my life but I can't get a cat until I sell my house and move. Cats hate moving (ask mine who moved 5 times in the first 4 years I had them) and I don't want to get a new one until I am settled in a new place. I will get another cat though, I am a self-described "cat person" and my husband always refers to the fact that I, with my innate curiosity, am pretty much like a cat.
While I know I will love any new cat that comes into my life, I am acutely aware that there will never be another like the one I just lost. So, thank you little friend for your love and companionship and know that I treasured every minute of it all.
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